Christmas Apart

Posted on December 21, 2015

There’s a very practical article,  available to read in full here. on how best to positively co-parent your kids at Christmas, when separated.

One the one hand I’m proud to see that my ex and I can pretty much tick every box and I know from talking to teachers and childminders in the past, we don’t just think we are amicably separated, others who have been involved in the minding of our son agree.

So why is it, that despite knowing my son will be healthy and happy among family, somewhere in Ireland on Christmas day, did I need to spend yesterday just howling crying like I haven’t cried in a long time?

Neither Logic, nor gratitude for the many good things I have in my life nor the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing I have put my son’s needs, both short and long term, above my own were enough.  At six he is at that joyful age where they really believe fully in all the wonder and magic of Christmas.  And I am simply heartbroken at not getting to spend that exact day with him.

I can blame the non-stop barrage of TV adverts depicting perfect Mums and Dads, accessorised with an adorable daughter, son and cute dog Christmas shopping or opening presents together.  But really I had to acknowledge that just for that day, I felt very cheated and full of grief about my situation.   In giving the sadness some room, some space to be seen and heard and acknowledged, I was able to let go some of the pain and enjoy the next few days with my beloved small man.